I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
another moral hangover. fuck.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
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