I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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