ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
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