so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
