therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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