I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
