Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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