Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
