HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
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