how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
