I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
