i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
