come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
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