the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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