Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
now i know why i became what i already was.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
So. Much. Porn.
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