I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
