he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
