wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
