dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
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