lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
