I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
