You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
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