Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Randomize
