I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
