so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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