I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
