So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
