So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
3pm strippers are depressing
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Text me some of your sweat
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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