well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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