it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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