it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
my liver is dry heaving
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Randomize
