My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
