garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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