toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
