New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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