so that wasnt chicken after all
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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