i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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