Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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