There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
