I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
We are all done wearing pants today
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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