I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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