Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
