smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
