Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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