I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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