Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
