Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Randomize
