my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Randomize
