Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
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