I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
